AUWCT Evaluation Examples - Satisfactory

Satisfactory

Q: Some people argue that organized sports tend to value physical qualities more than mental or spiritual ones, to encourage aggression and violence, and to promote petty nationalistic or regionalistic rivalries. Do you agree with this criticism of organized sports?

Organized sports are part of our culture and heritage and to suggest that they are more detrimental than beneficial is simply untrue. On the surface, sports may seem to emphasize the physical qualities of individuals but in reality, many mental aspects are required as well.

For children, organized sports can help them prepare for life by introducing to them the concepts of teamwork and cooperation. In team competitions, it is difficult for any one individual to succeed without the aid of their teammates. Even the most skilled of athletes needs help at one time or another. Drawing on my own personal experience, nothing was more satisfying than winning a game on a total team effort. By participating in these sports, youngsters will learn to work together and will be able to count on one another in any situation.

This often leads to close bonds being formed among players and later into long-lasting friendships. By working so closely together, teammates can share their feelings and emotions as each game goes by. Once during a soccer game, after I had accidentally scored on my own goal, I remember all of my teammates and coaches tried to console me on my mistake. Although I still felt depressed, I was touched by the fact that they all understood what I was going through and still supported me.

As a result, I feel that organized sports can help children cope with winning and losing, with success and defeat. I learnt at an early age that winning isn't everything, and above all, to play fair. To say that sports promote aggression and violence is unjust and is usually based on isolated incidents. Most participants are simply "in it for fun" and are not "out to get" their opponents.
There is no doubt that physical skills are required in sport but good athletes tend to have a higher self-esteem as well. After winning a hard-earned victory, a championship game, or even making a good play, a player gains a sense of accomplishment. An improved sense of self-worth may lead to a more posi-tive outlook on life. Hard work during practices can allow a child to develop a good work ethic. As well, constant physical activity leads to a healthy lifestyle which includes a healthy diet. By competing in organ-ized sports, children can form good habits from the outset of life and retain them throughout their lives.

To the players, the coach is like an additional parent away from home, and the team is like a family. The coach is the authority figure whom which all learns to obey. The players learn to respect him/her and accept him/her as an integral part of the team. The closeness of the player/coach relationship often leads to an improved relationship with their own parents. It is because of this that I feel that organized sports gives participants an increased appreciation of family values.

Leadership is another trait which can be attributed to sports. When I was named captain of a minor hockey team, I felt a sense of responsibility for the other players. The experience gave me a taste of what it was like to direct others and to be in charge.
It is obvious that organized sports are much more than just physical labour. The benefits both mental and physical more than justify their existence in our society, and I for one can proudly say that I was a participant.

Sample 1 - DISCUSSION:

In refuting the criticisms of organized sports, this writer effectively draws on personal experience. From start to finish, the writing is clear and straightforward, and the essay remains focused on the topic. Although there are a few grammatical and sentence structure flaws, these are isolated exceptions in an otherwise competent and engaging essay.