AUWCT Evaluation Examples - Marginally Unsatisfactory

Marginally Unsatisfactory

Q: Should employers have the right to make workers retire when they turn 65?

The issue of should employers have the right to make workers retire when they turn 65 concerns many people. It is affecting all the people who are in the working force. There are advantages as well as disadvantages to both side of the argument. If the employers have the right to retire their workers who are 65, it will benefit the employers on the expense of the old age people. Meanwhile, if the workers have the right to stay working if they wish once they turn 65, it might be a loss to the company since the younger ones will be more productivity.

I think the employers should not have the right to make workers retire when they turn 65. I think it is very unfair to the senior to lose their job just because they are sixty-five years old. It might be true that if the job is to be replace by a younger one, he or she will be more productivity, it will also means that the company will lose a valuable worker. Facing with many choices of employment in the working field, the younger people will tend to switch their jobs more often. That means the employers will always have to go thorough the chaos of hiring new workers and retraining them for the job. For the elder ones, they will be more stable at their jobs because they know that it's hard for them to find new jobs. Also, they will be more experience and loyal to the company. It will affect them greatly if they are automaticly being retired once they reach 65. They might think that they have no more use since they are too old even to hold on to their jobs.

Every person have their strengths and weaknesses. For some people when they turn 65, they are too weak to work, but for others, they still have many potential and they still can work for many more years. I think the best way to approach the issue would be for both the worker and the employer to have a friendly chat together. This way it will be benefit to both side. If the employer believes that he or she is a dedicated worker and of value to the company, maybe they can give them a chance to continues on working. If not, the two of them can work things out by other alternatives. Breaking the working relationship (or strengthening it) privately is much better than applying the law with all the hard feeling.

My grandmother is almost seventy years old now. She is still very healthy and energetic. It really depress her when she has nothing to do and just sit around the house. She hated the feeling of being a useless person and have someone waited on her. She has a job which she held for many years. My grandma gets along with all the staffs and they love to have her around. Her employer is also a great person. He did not once complaints about her working ability. He presented a reward for her for being such a great employee when she finally decided to quit her job and spend times with us. I still remembered how happy she was that night. She always goes back to visit them and sometimes even volunteer to help if they needed her. This kind of employer-and-employee relationship is hard to find. I truly believe that this way is great for both of them. It gives something for my grandma to remember and keep her spirit and hopes alive.

Sample 4 DISCUSSION:

This essay is clearly the work of an ESL writer. Although the ideas are sound and easy to follow and the essay is satisfactorily developed and flows well, it fails because of grammar problems. The most serious problems in this category are faulty verb forms (e.g. "is to be replace," "will also means," and "to continues") and faulty subject-verb agreement (e.g. "It really depress her" and "Every person have"), which indicate a failure to apply the basic rules of English grammar. The frequency of these problems suggests that the writer possesses an insufficient knowledge of English grammar and requires some instruction to do well in university. Other grammar errors include incorrect parts of speech (e.g."complaints" for "complain" and "productivity" instead of "productive") and the more forgivable problems of faulty prepositions, missing or incorrect plural endings, and departures from normal idiom. This essay was rated as marginally unsatisfactory rather than unsatisfactory by both markers, likely because there were obvious strengths as well as weaknesses and because the errors were largely confined to one category.